Why I Need to Stop Being Honest

I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.

Most of us have heard or even used this saying. The wording is certainly accurate.

When we speak, we give away pieces of ourselves.

By turning our thoughts into words, we share some of who we really are. We open a window to our soul and let someone see inside. But it’s even more than that. Because with that kind of honesty, we usually form some kind of connection to another soul.

And when that happens, it’s powerful.

Like most kinds of power, honest soul connections can be used in good or bad ways (Prov. 18:21). But recently I was flooded with feelings so powerful, I felt almost forced to say things I knew would do more harm than good.

So, honesty started to feel like a trap.

A little light finally peaked into my closed mind, and I had to ask if honesty is enough.  And it just isn’t.

I realized it’s time to stop telling myself

what I am really thinking and feeling

and start asking myself

what I should be thinking and feeling. 

I’m not saying life won’t ever put us in situations that require painful conversations.

Sometimes the truth hurts.

But it should never harm. 

So, my honesty should have to pass some tests before my thoughts become words.

“Am I trying to prove that I’m right,

or improve the relationship?”

-Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued

Philippians says to think on things that are “true” and “honest” (4:8).  Not only are those words separated, but “true” is put first. I can understand why.

I know it’s important to put Gods truths in front of my honesty.

They teach me wisdom and patience and kindness and love that my honesty might lack. And I need those things to be my honest truths. Because everything and everyone in my life desperately needs His thoughts and ways more than mine.

So I don’t want to just be honest. I want to speak and act on truth.

“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”


(John 8:32)

5 thoughts on “Why I Need to Stop Being Honest

  1. Wow…I could really improve my own relationships by simply asking myself, Am I trying to prove I am right, or improve the relationship??? Th for sharing.


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